REDNECK CHRISTMAS

First of all... Merry Christmas too all, and a prosperous New Year. Let me tell ya what I have going on before I start my Christmas Story. For background as to who's, where's, and why's of these stories make sure to visit me and my profile here. While I will only be posting here about once a week, I will be posting a story a day at my website , and if you are interested, there are also articles posted there on how to do what I do and generate income just by blogging. It can actually be pretty profitable.Anyways, as I sit this morning looking at all the presents accumulated by my wife and I and our somewhat spoiled daughter. I like to reflect on my past and realize how blessed we really are, I kinda just sat back and tried to remember my first Christmas that I can remember, and compare it to what I assume will be my daughter's first Christmas memory. Well, with all that outta the way I now present..............

REDNECK CHRISTMAS
It was Christmas Eve, 1976. I was 4 and my sister was 2. We had just hung a pair of my Dad's stinky black dress socks from the console record-player/stereo system with a piece of Scotch tape. I was really excited and a little nervous. You see, we did not have a chimney in our single-wide trailer out in the boonies, and the mailman could only find us about once a week, and he was from the area. Plus, my dad had his rifle all loaded, promising to get that red-nosed reindeer this year. Apparently, reindeer meat was "scrumptious". Now, don't get the wrong idea, my dad was a good-natured guy, especially around the holidays (he loved Christmas), but he was about as country as they come. Besides, Christmas was really all about the birth of the 8lb, 6oz. Baby Jesus, right?
OK I know I'm all over the place, just bear with me alright.
Anyways, we sat down to observe our 2 family traditions. One was the reading of "The Christmas Story"(Luke: Chapter 1 & 2), the other was the opening of our Christmas Pajamas. That year it was a pair of green and red striped one-pieces with a drop-bottom and "HO-HO-HO" written all over them (made by Mamaw) and yes, they had footies. We put out a plate of cookies and milk, and off to bed we went. Of coarse it was hard to fall asleep, with all the excitement, but after a little while, and a couple of spankings I might add, sleep I finally found.
Then at about 5:30 in the morning we were woke up by the boom of Dad's 30/30 rifle. He came in the house all upset cause he had "Missed that red-nosed reindeer once again, but he promised to get'em next year". Presents were everywhere, I remember it like it was yesterday. First we emptied our stockings, an orange an apple, some nuts, some chocolate coins, and a humongous candy can. They all smelled like feet, but we were excited nonetheless. I got an electric football set (you remember the ones that made a loud hummmmm and all the men ran in circles), a football, a palstic shoulder-pads and helmet set, a Stretch Armstrong, and some blow-up boxing gloves. The plastic pad/ helmet set will be the subject of a future story, by the way. My sister seemed to have gotten all she wanted. But, the feature present of the day, was a scope for Daddy's rifle.
My Dad was so excited about this particular gift. He had gotten it from Papaw, my Mom's father. My Dad immediately called his brother to brag. Now my uncle was well known for his hunting skills throughout the holler. And of course he teased Daddy telling him he needed a scope so he could actually shoot a deer instead of his car (another worthy story entirely). This phone-call totally set Daddy suddenly into a different mood entirely. He took me with him to the side window of the trailer facing the woods, opened it, and spotted a blue-jay on a limb about 30 feet away. He looked at me and said, "Watch this.", and lowered the barrel of the 30/30. He looked through the scope for what seemed like a minute, then pulled the trigger. KABOOM! Right from the hallway through the winder. I watched in disbelief as I saw a blue-jay burst into a fluff of blue and gray feathers. Something I'll never forget.
Then we all got bathed and ready for church. I got to wear my favorite hunter's green, felt/corduroy, double-breasted, 3 piece, leisure suit, with my cowboy print, green and yellow collared, dress shirt. Then we all got into the '64 Ford Falcon and drove the 1'4 mile to the church so that Daddy could preach the Christmas morning service. That is officially the first Christmas that I can remember. Oh, and we we returned from church, there was a deer-meat roast waiting for us. Merry Christmas!